No thanks, Edward Scissorhands

I went to the specialist/surgeon yesterday. She was pretty confident that it is just a fibroid tumor - no biggie. I was given the option of leaving it in there. But she also said it is about 10 centimeters! That creeps me out. I've got something the size of a large orange or grapefruit growing inside me. Sure, I don't have any bad symptoms now, but sheesh 10 centimeters!

Just so you can get an idea, it's about half the length of my forearm. So I've got surgery scheduled for December 27th. My very first surgery. Scary and exciting. I'll have a story and a scar! I'm nervous and oddly looking forward to the surgery. I was given the option of laparoscopic via robot or a more traditional surgery. I opted for the good ol' hands on approach. Yes, there can be more pain and longer healing time, but robot operations... not for me. Another thing I don't like about laparoscopic - less invasive but longer because they have to cut that sucker up inside me to pull it out the tiny holes. I have this image of Edward Scissorhands chopping up the tumor to get it out. Eeep!

It's True

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that I have a tumor. Chances are it is a uterine fibroid - which is benign and not horribly uncommon in women. But it is big. I don't know how big. The ultrasound tech showed mom and I the image on the screen. The tumor looks larger than my uterus (however big that is). Now I am waiting for the gynecological specialist at UNC to call and schedule an appointment. When my doctor told me they were referring me to a specialist, she said "Don't freak out. He is a gynecoligist oncologist. But he is the best. He's who I would go to." Funny. "Don't freak out." I've got a mass of some large size in my stomach. I don't know how long it has been growing there. I may need surgery. It could be something worse than a fibroid. "Don't freak out." I'm freaking out a little.
Lord, help give me peace and patience as I wait for my phone to ring and as I go through the process of complete diagnosis. Help me remember that joy comes from knowing you and your saving grace. That things of this world are nothing compared to knowing you. You are strong enough to take on everything for me. I'm not doing this alone.